ADMISSION REQUIREMENTS:

1. Your mother must have at least once in your childhood/youth washed or wiped some dirt off of your face with a glob of her nasty spit.

2. Daughter or son must have been totally grossed out and very embarrased by this.

3. Mom must have spit-cleansed her daughter or son in a public place. This also includes being spit-cleansed in front of family members.

4. Daughter or son must have questioned her mother’s sanity for using her spit as a facial cleanser.

Remember, only a select few are admitted into this prestigious club! You should feel honored and proud OF.........?

To finish reading the rest of my humorous piece please click on Spit Sister/Brother!

The general definition of R.N. is an individual trained to provide medical care under the supervision of a doctor after completing a course of nursing study and passing the proper examinations to become licensed and registered.

But folks, that crap’s irrelevant!

Because the R.N. i’m talking about doesn’t wear scrubs and terrorize the patients, “Nurse Ratched-Style.”

Dammit!

I’ll tell ya’ in that 1975 movie classic, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, that broad, Nurse Ratched, really had class!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Anyhoo, back to the show!

No, the R.N. this 38 Year Old Black Female is talking about is very low-brow and has a kind of 1980’s Jheri Curl wave to it minus all of the grease.

At this time I would like to stray away from my main subject again and give a “shout out” to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson and his 1980’s greasy-ass Jheri Curl and for being stupid enough to mix the two with a fireworks display.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Priceless!

Anyhoo, back to the show, again!

To finish reading the rest of my humorous piece please click on R.N.’s Rule!

-With all the childish and negative commercials during an election year.

(Loud thumb-sucking sound!)

He did this, she didn’t do that! I’m gonna’ tell mommy!)

-With all of the jokes that comedians like Jay Leno and other comedians do. Here are just a few:

“John McCain got some good news today. The Charleston Daily Mail endorsed McCain, saying since he’ll only be a one-term president, he can do the right things to make tough decisions. When they told McCain they were only giving him four years, he said, ‘That’s great. My doctor only gave me two!’” -Jay Leno

“According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Governor Palin, when she leaves them home alone, they get pregnant.” –Seth Meyers

“A town in Upstate New York is being accused of being biased ’cause they sent out absentee ballots that say ‘Barack Osama.’ Today they apologized and printed new ballots that say ‘Barack Hussein Osama.’” –Conan O’Brien

“They began filming a porno movie this week called ‘Nailin’ Palin.’ They’ve hired a woman who looks like Governor Palin to star in this porn movie. It’s called ‘Nailin Palin,’ and they expect a lot of guys to go see it. The porn movie nobody wants to see? ‘Ridin’ Biden.’” –Jay Leno

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Nailin’ Palin!

Let’s face it, he’s come a long way baby!

And yes, i’m talking about Kirk Cameron, ya’ know Candace "Full House" Cameron’s big brother!

From former tv commercial kiddie actor to preteen atheist.................

To teen idol of the 1980’s hit tv show, Growing Pains where he played bad boy, Mike Seaver to born again christian and founding member of the christian evangelical ministry called, The Way of the Master.

This guy has come a long way baby!

And boy oh boy I cannot believe the direction this guy has taken!

Total shocker!

I thought for sure this guy would have graduated to porno films ala’ Ron Jeremy the way his loveable yet goofy and totally horny character on the tv show, Growing Pains, Mike Seaver acted.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on the Everchanging Kirk!

According to Wikipedia, DRUNK DIALING is a pop-culture term denoting an instance in which an intoxicated individual places phone calls that he or she would not likely place if sober.

At this time I would like to give a shout out to the White man who started it all by letting his *hit-faced fingers do the walking and the voicemails do the talking on the internet, Mr. Pat “The Insider” O’Brien!

Hooray!

Hey Pat, wanna’ Heineken to go with that TracPhone?

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Just kiddin’ White brother.

But dude, seriously!

To finish reading the rest of my story please click on Pat O’Brien’s Drunk Voicemails Rule!

Boy oh boy how things have changed!

When I was a kid back in the 70’s and early 80’s, for Halloween I wanted to be alot of things.

I have listed a couple of the things below.

One year I wanted to be Wonder Woman and have the body that Lynda Carter did only black-style.

One year I wanted to be the Incredible Hulk. (For some reason Lou Ferrigno and pea green body makeup had a certain appeal to me back in 1978.)

One year I wanted to be a hobo. (P.S. I really didn’t want to be a hobo in 1975 but I had no choice because I was only 5 years old way back then, we were a one income family back then and mostly because my parents made me and at that time what they said good. Thank God i’m an adult now! Halleluhah! No more lame Halloween costumes for Tina Peden!)

And one year I even wanted to be a Rubik’s cube. (P.S. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking!)

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Political Pregnant Teens!

Child abuse can be PHYSICAL - shaking, hitting, beating, burning, or biting a child.

Child abuse can be EMOTIONAL - constantly blaming or putting down a child; excessive yelling, shaming.

Child abuse can be SEXUAL - incest, any forced sexual activity, exposure to sexual stimulation not appropriate for the child’s age.

Child abuse can be NEGLECT - a pattern of failure to provide for the child’s physical needs, such as food, clothing, shelter, and medical care; a pattern of failure to provide for the child’s emotional needs, such as affection, attention, and supervision.

But let me ask you this.

I personally know a woman who smokes cigarettes like a chimney. We are not friends just acquaintances. Normally I wouldn’t care because basically my philosophy is: “To each his own.”

However, this particular individual is at least 3 to 4 months pregnant. And to me, that’s a form of child abuse even though it doesn’t fall within the normal child abuse guidelines.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Pregnant Smoker.