For those of you out there who are unfamiliar with the the Jheri Curl, it was a popular hairstyle among Blacks in the 1980's. Jheri Curl Activator, Moisturizer and a Plastic Cap were required to keep this hairstyle shiny and curly. The Jheri Curl's rapid decline in popularity was due to the fact that the products to maintain the hairstyle were expensive not to mention extremely greasy. (As a teenage black girl in the 1980's, I must have ruined about 120 pillowcases because of this hairstyle.)

 

"What Juice Newton did was horrible, disgusting and unforgivable. I mean, it's right up there with Barry Bonds taking steroids! By putting Jheri Curl Activator in the fast food that he prepared virtually guaranteed that he'd be the winner of the Top Fast Food Chef competition because it made the food glide smoothly down the throat at record speed so that the judges didn't get a chance to actually taste the food." Screwy said angrily while he stirred his world famous corn dog batter.

 

"The judges couldn't make any kind of decision on Newton's food so in accordance with The Fast Food Code of Ethics the judges had to give Newton the benefit of the doubt that his food was excellent which allowed him to win every challenge." Screwy said while adding corn syrup to his world famous corn dog batter.

 

"And the sad thing is that he would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for the accident." said Screwy while dipping his finger into his world famous corn dog batter.

 

Chef Screwy is referring to the accident that happened on December 10th. During the last challenge, Juice Newton was sneaking a teaspoon of Jheri Curl Activator into the Chili that he had made which was later to be poured over some hotdogs when Newton accidentally spilled three drops of the Jheri Curl Activator on the floor. Unaware of this, Newton slipped on it and skidded about eight feet across the floor before landing head first into another contestant's barbeque grill where she was barbequing some hot wings. Normally Newton would have sustained minor injuries but unfortunately Newton chose to wear the Jheri Curl Activator in his hair which is a rare thing for a White man to do so Newton suffered third degree burns to his head and face. He is reportedly resting comfortably at St. IDon'tBelieveThisB.S. Hospital.

 

"Everyone involved in the competition is glad that Newton will recover from all of the injuries he sustained in the accident in a few years. Our hearts and prayers go out to Newton and his family. We wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone but if Newton had played by the rules none of this would have happened. It just goes to show you that cheaters never win!" said Screwy while pouring a large heaping teaspoon of Jheri Curl Activator into his world famous corn dog batter.

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