Why must I "dress" my salad?  Why can't my salad walk around naked?

Or if I do have to "dress" my salad, can't it wear some stirrup pants with a pair of cowboy boots?  Or maybe a nice suit with some pennyloafers.  Or maybe a black micro mini-skirt with stiletto heels?

The clothing possibilities are endless!  Although, I think that a salad should be able to choose the clothing they want to wear without us humans making clothing choices for it.  It's a salad's life, us humans have no right to interfere!

And to bring up an entirely different matter, why does a salad need humans to "dress" it anyway?  A salad is perfectly capable of "dressing" itself!  A salad is not a little baby.   A salad should also be given privacy when it's "dressing".  A salad shouldn't have to put up with all those prying human eyes when it's getting "dressed".  Most people would agree that a salad doesn't watch them get "dressed", a salad respects their privacy.  Us humans should do the same for a salad.

So to all of you salad voyeurs out there, let a salad get "dressed" in private, PERVERT!