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| Note To Celebrity Fit Club: No More Sommore! |
| 04.30.08 (4:35 pm) [edit] |
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For the love of god honey, cover up! On the season finale of VH1’s hit reality tv show, Celebrity Fit Club, lame comedienne, Sommore flashed her boobs “girls gone wild style” to her castmates after finally facing her fears and climbing a “tree house style” obstacle course. I mean, don’t get me wrong, i’m all for a person facing and conquering their fears but couldn’t this lame comedienne find a more classy way to celebrate it other than getting nasty and flashing her knockers. To finish reading the rest of my article please click on No More Sommore!
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| One-Hit TV Show Wonder, Brian Dunkleman Says He Gave American Idol The Boot Not Vice Versa! |
| 04.29.08 (5:12 pm) [edit] |
One-hit tv show wonder, Brian Dunkleman told the judges on the finale of VH1’s hit reality tv show, Celebrity Fit Club that contrary to the rumors that he was fired from his hosting gig on American Idol he was the one who actually made the decision to quit the show. Ever since his noticeable absence from the second season of American Idol, rumors have run rapid for about 15 minutes (because basically nobody really gave a shit) about the reason for his sudden departure, the most popular being that he was “too difficult” to work with. (As if anyone could work amicably with Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul!) To finish reading the rest of my article please click on What the hell happened to Brian Dunkleman! |
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| Grey's Anatomy's, Katherine Heigl Needs To Take "Bad Acting Lessons" From CSI: Miami's David Caruso! |
| 04.29.08 (5:08 pm) [edit] |
Kat, haven’t you learned anything from David Caruso! F.Y.I. David Caruso is the fiery-haired idiot who left the popular tv show, NYPD Blue after one season to pursue a big screen movie career and literally "bombed!" After years of big screen failure and after some serious begging to get NYPD Blue to release him from his contract, the now sunglassed idiot bounced back big time as the lead on CBS’s hit tv show spinoff, CSI: Miami. Don’t leave your popular tv show to pursue a big screen movie career! Caucasian, are you crazy! To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Kat is Crazy! |
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| Why Do Some States Even Show Up For The Miss USA Pageant? |
| 04.23.08 (6:41 pm) [edit] |
It’s not like you’ve ever heard of Miss Iowa or Miss Idaho taking the crown in a beauty pageant. Well, at least not since the 1950’s, but I digress. It’s always states like New York, California or Texas who wins. Speaking of the devil, Miss Texas took home the crown at the Miss USA pageant this year. Surprise, surprise! Personally, i’m so sick of the monopoly that the above states have on some of these beauty pageants. Do I smell a little payola going on? At this time, I would like to send a shout out to legendary rock n’ roll disc jockey, Alan Freed! (Thank you white brother! Rock n’ Roll totally rules! I love ya’!) I mean, New York, California and Texas need to step back and give other states a chance too no matter how ugly or untalented that their representatives may be. Every state deserves a fair shot. To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Miss USA. |
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| "Happy Days" Washed-Up Star, Erin Moran Did It For The Money, Honey! |
| 04.23.08 (6:38 pm) [edit] |
BOMBSHELL! On the second to the last episode of VH1’s hit reality tv show “Celebrity Fit Club” washed-up 70’s sitcom star Erin Moran revealed that the only reason she did show was for the money. Duh! That was so obvious! Look at you, you’re only like 124 pounds! It’s incredibly obvious that you didn’t need to lose any weight! Duh! Erin, we already know that you only did the show for the money because we haven’t heard from you in 24 years which means you haven’t worked in 24 years! Duh! The only thing that I have to say about your “moment of truth” is girlfriend couldn’t you be a little more discreet! Erin, I don’t want to hear that your broke! To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Washed-Up 70’s Star. |
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| Supermodel Naomi Campbell Would Make Any President A Perfect Personal Bodyguard! |
| 04.23.08 (6:36 pm) [edit] |
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Kevin Costner was Whitney Houston’s bodyguard and she said that she would always love him! So Hillary, John and Barack whichever one of you guys or girl wins the presidential election, do yourselves a favor and spread the love! Give this psycho-supermodel-chick a job as your personal bodyguard. Because people, let’s face it, this chick is only a stone’s throw away from getting designer-booted from the modeling industry and every cellphone store on the planet. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! To continue reading the rest of my article please click on Naomi The Bodyguard!
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| I wonder what kinda' soap do the presidential candidates use to get rid of the stench from a long hard day? |
| 04.22.08 (4:07 pm) [edit] |
After a long hard day of lying, smiling and ass-kissing, I have always wondered one thing about the current presidential candidates. What kind of soap do they use. I know it ain’t a “rocket science” question but it’s certainly a relevant one. I gotta’ keep it real! I’m totally against a stinky-ass president in the White House and i’m sure Bill Clinton, Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain would agree. To finish reading the rest of my article please click on I Luv Ivory Soap! |
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| Hey Barack, Hillary & John: Shut Your Hole, Quit Bellyachin' & Get Rid Of Kid Leashes! |
| 04.19.08 (4:05 pm) [edit] |
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Hey Barack, Hillary and John! Shut your hole and quit bellyachin’! When am I gonna’ hear you bozos address the important issues affecting America. And yes, i’m talkin’ about those damn “kid leashes!” By the way, my name is Kenny and i’m 4 years old! Ya’ wanna’ make somethin’ of it? I’m not happy to meet you cause’ i’m pissed off! The reason why is that all of the big-wig politicians out there are so “concerned” about war, poverty and A.I.D.S. When the hell are these bozos gonna’ address a real problem? And yes, i’m talkin’ about those damn “kid leashes!” To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Kid Leashes!
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| How A Washed-Up 70's Sitcom Star Can Revive Their Career! (Spotlight on Erin Moran!) |
| 04.19.08 (4:03 pm) [edit] |
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STEP 1: Sign up to be on a reality tv show. Preferably on VH-1 reality tv show, i.e. Celebrity Fit Club, even though you really don’t need to lose any weight. P.S. Erin Moran is about 124 pounds! Big woo, honey! You’re still a skinny heifer! You must need the money bad! The rent must be due! At this time, I would like to send a shout out to washed up 70’s sitcom star, Erin Moran of Happy Days! Girl, where in the hell have you been for the last 24 years! I guess things haven’t been..................... Sunday, Monday, Happy Days.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days.
Thursday, Friday, Happy Days.
The weekend comes,
My cycle hums,
Ready to race to you.
These days are all,
Happy and Free. (Those Happy Days) To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Erin Moran!
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| Hey Barack & Michelle Obama: For Your Campaign's Sake, Shut Your Yaps! |
| 04.19.08 (3:57 pm) [edit] |
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Picture it! I’m using my best “valley girl” voice circa 1983. Okay, like, Barack Obama said like the people in rural Pennsylvania are bitter and angry. Which was like sooo totally lame! But I like forgive him because he’s such a total hunk! He’s so tubular! Omigod! And his wife, Michelle like totally said for the first time in her adult life, she was proud of her country. Which was like so grody to the max! But I like totally forgive her because her husband is such a total hunk! He’s so tubular! Omigod! Okay, I have to stop this right now. I mean, I love the 80’s but it’s time to say goodbye to my “valley girl” voice and the 80’s and move on from this retro reminising. Besides it’s giving me a headache! (Or it could be the Olivia Newton-John headband that I am wearing around my head that could be giving me the headache. But I digress.) To finish reading the rest of this article click on Shut Your Yap!
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| John McCain Is In Serious Need Of Some "Tongue" From Gene Simmons Of The Rock Band, KISS! |
| 04.14.08 (4:55 pm) [edit] |
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Hey, it worked for American Idol castoffs, Chikezie and Michael Johns! And quite frankly, if it can work for those losers with vocal talent it sure as hell can work for a Republican with no vocal talent. At this time, I would like to send a shout out to “Republican with no vocal talent” John McCain. Sorry, dog! You just would never make the cut on American Idol. To read the rest of this article please click on Tongue Daddy!
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| (Like Nails On A Damn Chalkboard!) The Spanish Channel Epidemic Is Driving Me Crazy! |
| 04.11.08 (3:30 pm) [edit] |
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Hey, party people!
Instablogs is the place to be, ho! By the by, when I say the word “ho”, I am not referring to hooker, Ashley Dupre, i’m referring to the name Pimp Daddy Eliot Spitzer calls out when he comes inside Ashley Dupre, “ho!” Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! To read the rest of my article please click on Ho!
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| In This Corner: Hillary "Rocky" Clinton! And In This Corner: Hillary "Rodham" Clinton! (The Italian Stallion vs. The Pushy Anti-George Bushy) |
| 04.08.08 (5:08 pm) [edit] |
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BE AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID! And pity the fool candidate without a mohawk who decides to come up against this scrappy Democratic beyotch. At this time I would like to send a shout out to “pity the fool candidate without a mohawk,”
Barack Obama. Hey Obama, don’t you wish your hair was hot like Mr. T’s? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! To read more of this article click on Democratic Beyotch.
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| (Insert Your Snicker Here!) John McCain Receives Endorsement From Heidi Montag! Oh No, She Didn't! |
| 04.05.08 (3:52 pm) [edit] |
Screw you Barbie Bush!
Screw you Ann Coulter! There’s a new Republican sister on the block and it ain’t Jennifer Lopez. Instead of having a big ass this chick has the biggest jackass of a boyfriend on the planet!
At this time, I would like to send a shout out to Spencer Pratt! To read more of this article please click on Everybody Wants an Endorsement from Heidi Montag! |
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| Can America Handle Having A Good-Looking President In The White House? |
| 04.03.08 (5:12 pm) [edit] |
My answer is .......................... Hell to the no! (Thanks Whitney Houston for the kick-ass catch phrase! You totally rock when your stoned out of your mind!) To read the rest of this article please click on Good-Looking Presidents Rule! |
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| A Stupid Question About MTV's Hit Tv Show, "The Hills" |
| 04.03.08 (3:49 pm) [edit] |
Why is it that on the MTV hit 20 something television show, “The Hills” that all the White girls on that show ever do is eat? Don’t these chicks realize where they are living? They’re living in Los Angeles for christ’s sake! Haven’t these chicks ever heard of anorexia? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! |
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| Fred Thompson Getting Back Into Acting After Making Pitiful Bid For President! |
| 04.02.08 (4:58 pm) [edit] |
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Mildly successful character actor, Fred Thompson just proves the old adage, “don’t be a stupid-ass and leave your well-paying day job for another job when you have absolutely no chance in hell of getting that job, i.e. becoming the 44th president of the United States.” To read more of this article please click on "Fred Thompson for President? I don't think so!"
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