Britney Spears went there and so did Lindsay Lohan. Mel Gibson did too and I even think that Rip Torn went there to cure himself of his embarrassing arrest or whatever the reason was.

Yep, it's celebrity rehab!

And there's another person who has joined the club: Say hello to the no talent beefcake star of Desperate Housewives, ya' know the show that was hot for a micro minute but now is dead man walkin', Jesse Metcalfe. He recently entered a drug rehabilitation program in California. Hopefully Jesse will get the help that he needs to cure his addiction and hopefully one of the network executives in the drug rehabilitation program with him will offer him a cheesy spot on one of their movie's of the week since Desperate Housewives is almost history. Thank God! I'm so sick of that show!

Let’s face it, we live in a nasty world, and there are alot of nasty girls out there who like to do freaky-deaky things like videotaping themselves having oral sex with a nasty boy. I’m here to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, however if you are a nasty girl who does this you had better make sure that the videos of your sexcapades are kept under lock and key at Fort Knox or some other high-security place like that where nobody can get to them, if not you are asking for trouble with a capital “T!”

Thanks to the internet generation that we currently live in once these videotapes are made public they have the power of a level 5 tornado. They can destroy anything in its path like your career, reputation, marriage, relationships, sanity, etc.

Nasty girls, when it comes to oral sex there is only one method that, excuse the expression, “doesn’t leave a bad taste in your mouth.” The method that I am referring to is audiotape recording. So for you Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton and Rick Solomon wannabes out there instead of videotaping your sexcapades, try audiotaping them instead. Below are some benefits of this method of “oral sex.”

-You and your partner can be as loud and nasty as you want to be without overexposing yourselves, i.e. on an audiotape nobody can see your penis or vagina.

-Audiotapes of your sexcapades require lower security than a videotape but you still might want to keep them under lock and key at a place like Fort Knox although a good safe or lockbox will do.

-If the audiotape is lost or stolen and makes its way into the public eye like onto the internet, I have to be honest and say that it will most likely be very embarrassing for you because anybody with access to the internet will be able to hear the sounds of your lovemaking and your “dirty talk,” however it will be less embarrassing and far less damaging than a videotape.

-And if worse comes to worse, an individual can always lie and say that the voice on an embarrassing audiotape that has been made public is not theirs and say that it is another individual’s who happens to sound just like them since there are no images or pictures.

So nasty girls, do the smart thing when it comes to “oral sex” and think with the big head! Audiotape your sexcapades instead of videotaping them for better piece of mind and for an even better piece of ass! And don’t forget when you are audiotaping your sexcapades remember to:

-Laugh low-down and dirty in your Orlando vacation home rental!

-Sing the national anthem! -Engage in “baby talk!”

-Use noisy sex toys! -

-Tell erotic stories!

-Slurp and say “mmm mmm good!” while performing oral sex!

-Moan and groan loudly!

-Spank that ass before you tap that ass!

-Have fun!

-Be creative!

-Use your imagination!

-And do anything else to make your audiotape recordings of your lovemaking enjoyable and memorable!